6 years

72 months

312 weeks

2190 days

52,560 hours

3153600 minutes

spent missing 1 little girl

who’s encouraged over 200,000 kids


sweet, sweet Jessica joy,

it’s January 5th. Six years later. A heart that’s healing from the sharp pain, but will forever hold a hole.

This day is always a surprise for me, as in I can never predict how the emotion and weight of the day will hit me. I get anxious leading up to today, quieter at times, because I know what’s coming.

Each day, I am given the opportunity to live life to its fullest and tap into the joy you show me. But today everything seems more real in some strange way. I’ll always relive January 5th, 2012 on each and every January 5th to come. Walking through the scariest and most painful place in your life is never easy, and this is where the unknown comes.

I’m speechless though; at the way God can work through our lives, our stories, and will shape us through them. In the midst of that stomach-drop feeling because I will never again get to experience your presence on this side of Heaven, I also have a smile on my face. It comes from this deep-rooted peace. This definitely is not my own, but stems from knowing how special you were, and how I’ll forever and ever get the opportunity to share you with the world.

The places you’ve been and brought me to over the last year definitely ran the spectrum from high-highs to low-lows. With your guidance, and God leading the way, I’m becoming more and more of who I was made to be and I can never, ever, ever thank you enough for the impact you’ve made on me.

I’m fairly certain you taught this big sister of yours more than I ever taught you!! I love getting to live a life that is a testament to the power of a little girl and her heart for Jesus, and others.

More than anything, today I wish I could laugh with you, dance with you, and hug you.

So today, we are listening to Jack Johnson & Colbie Caillat, together. We are doing hugs and all things sweet, together. We are doing family and laughter and group hugs, together. Together with you in our hearts.

Today is for you.

I love you more than anything in this world.

To heaven and back and to heaven again.

I’ll see you in a wink, Jessica Joy.

X+O,

your big sister.